Is there such a thing as bad PD?
Is there such a thing as bad PD?
We, as a society, love to learn. We thrive on it. Many of us are constantly reading Medium pieces, listening to impactful podcasts and spending our spare hours reading books for our personal development.
I am no different. As a personal development coach, I am consistently looking for new ways to better myself, find new ways for clients to connect with themselves or engage with literature that is helpful to reflect on. It is not uncommon for me (and many others) to have a few podcasts on the go, an audiobook ready for a morning workout or a countertop of half-read books. I have spent years connecting with anything that I could relate to my personal development. Until recently, I have thought it was best practice to consume anything PD related, as long as you looked at it with a critical eye. My opinion on this has changed, and here is why.
Not all personal development is created equally
As someone who has always really valued education, I have always known this on some level and can rationally understand that different folks come at PD from different angles, with varying levels of experience and research, but when someone is consuming so much PD day to day, this sometimes can get lost.
We all value different things from our PD — some folks like to be motivated, others like to be convinced with research, but you might be like me and enjoy a mix.
It is important to ask questions of your PD and do a few minutes of research into what this person has to offer. Otherwise, you can engage in PD that is not that meaningful for you because it does not connect with your personal style of engaging in reflection for your development.
Personal development is not supposed to make you feel bad
Some folks respond well to negative pressure, and if this is the case, I am not necessarily talking to you in this one. When I engage in personal development, I want it to be uplifting, engaging and actionable. I want to finish a book, think about it with a pen and piece of paper and see some places immediately where I can live it out in my life.
Too often we let social media impact how we see ourselves and fall into comparing ourselves to others. In starting my business, I am so guilty of this when scrolling through my Instagram and seeing folks rocking these passion projects they love so much (get it!). I need to remember that they are on their day 250, while I am still on day 10.
When engaging in PD, I sometimes feel that same cringey feeling I get while scrolling through my Instagram. This is not the intention of PD, and that is why being selective about who you engage with, learn from and grow with is vital for engaging in your development. If you are not selective, you can completely become disengaged with the pursuit of bettering yourself for the long-term.
I feel this way when I read Rachel Hollis’ books. I love her vision, her heart and how uplifting she can be, but her motivation doesn’t resonate with me in all of her mediums (some do!). Our circumstances are so different and recognizing that is crucial to me being able to take what I need from her, and leave the rest.
Just to be clear, I am not talking about PD that challenges you. I love it when I read something that felt a little too close to home and makes me think of something or even myself in a bit of a different way. I am talking about that gross feeling you can get when someone is trying to motivate you (or call you out) in a way that feels unhealthy, unproductive and not meaningful.
How do I choose the right PD?
This is an inherently personal question, and one I will not necessarily be able to help you find the answer to for yourself. Some things that have worked for me:
Connecting with like-minded friends or groups, and telling them “I am looking for something uplifting, challenging and actionable”.
Find 2–3 folks who really resonate with you and follow them in their careers, as well as see who they engage with. Is there someone who this person talks about on their blog?
Don’t be afraid to stop a PD that is not serving you. I have listened to too many podcasts to the end that have altered my mood because I didn’t want to quit. Skip that!
Personal development is highly personal, but finding development that serves you is key to staying engaged in developing for years to come.
