You should stop listening to that podcast.
I used to fill every spare moment I had with development. I am not joking. I would walk to the bathroom and plug my earphones in to catch 5 minutes of a podcast that might serve me long term. Have I learned a ton of things over the last five years? Yes.
Have all of them been helpful to my emotional well being and self-esteem? Certainly not.
I have spent years listening or readings items that made me feel terrible about myself. Similarly to how folks talk about Instagram comparison, I was thinking about personal development resources that others raved about in the same way.
It led to a point of complete burn out where I was unable to consume anything personal development related (a huge passion of mine!) for over six months. If I went for a walk, I was listening to music because I did not want to hear another piece of advice.
Healing from that time is what has led to me this understanding that not all personal development is good personal development, and in a larger way, engaging in constant personal development, as our culture and society encourage, can be unhealthy.
I am encouraging you today to put down the book or stop listening to the podcast that is making you feel like crap, and here is why.
It alters your perspective, but not in a good way.
I have not always focused on mindset when it came to my professional life. As a hard worker and an eager learner, a lot of my self-talk came from me trying to motivate myself to be the best I could possibly be.
What I have learned in starting my own business, working a 9–5, and engaging in more commitments than I often should, is that mindset is key to making anything work and is in full control how much you can get done.
When you listen to personal development materials that can negatively influence you, your perspective may alter, but not in a good way that encourages better work or more productive relationships. It influences you in a negative way that can cause you to shut down for not being ‘enough’.
One of my new favourite mindset books is ‘The Magic of Thinking Big’ by Dr. David J. Schwartz (a must-read!), and he reminds us that our brains are like banks. If we go to the teller with positive experiences, we will receive positive experiences and be reminded of positive experiences. If we go to the teller with negative experiences, we will be reminded of all of our negativity.
If you are engaging in personal development and it feels cringey, makes you uncomfortable and does not motivate you, that is not something that will change or resonate with you long-term.
It is a waste of time.
Our time on earth is limited. We need to be selective about where we spend our energy and our time, and the impact it can have on our larger life. I have read too many books on my bookshelf to completion because I felt it would make me a quitter if I didn’t.
More recently, I started reading the book ‘Good to Great’ in audiobook format. I would go for long walks and come home to realize I did not retain anything that was said. I liked the message, but it did not feel pressing or timely for me at the time, and I was dreaming about other things on this walk.
I listened to three hours before I returned it to the audio library. Imagine what I could have done with those three hours that could have benefitted me more meaningfully or connected me to a new topic that really resonated with me.
Use your time effectively. If you need the message, listen to the message. If you do not feel it fits in with your current life circumstances, just let it go.
Choose wisely.
When I was in my height of personal development listening, I would listen to almost anything. I would listen to podcasts of folks who did not align with my values because they were mainstream and it seemed like the right thing to do to stay in the know.
A mentor recently told me that you should choose 2–3 people to learn from when you are an intense learning period, and that is it. Choose these people wisely as people you resonate with and connect with, are in line with your mission and inspire or challenge you.
Someone who does this for me time and time again in my business is Jenna Kutcher. I resonate with her strategy, she is constantly teaching me things and even in her tough moments of sharing, I feel so uplifted.
Being challenged is good, but being shamed is not. What works for someone might not work for you, and that is OK. Stop reading that book, watching that Instagram story, or listening to that podcast — choose something that will fill your bucket.
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This post was edited using my favourite resource Grammarly!
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